Book to movie EXTRAVAGANZA!

So last week, Summit Entertainment came out with its first trailer for Paul Anderson’s “The Three Musketeers IN 3D” (Emphasis mine) and it looks like a right mess. Slow motion musketeering (That is totally a legit word, shut up), Milla Jovovich’s Lady de Winter being all Alice from Resident Evil in the wrong era, and A FLYING SHIP. I mean, WAT EVEN.

If it weren’t for the fact that Orlando Bloom is in it, I wouldn’t even be mildly interested. I may watch it on October 14.

And as it turns out, it’s not the only book to movie adaptation coming out in the following months. Twelve book to movie adaptations are coming out this year, and I thought it would be fun to take a look at all of them and see which one is going to crush your book reading experience forever.

Coming out on April 15 is “Atlas Shrugged Part 1“. Yes, they actually feel confident that there is going to be a sequel to this horrible looking thing. I’ve never really felt that Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” could be turned into a good movie — “The Fountainhead” seems like a better candidate — but it’s their money!

Rating:

THE HORROR. THE HORROR.

 

On April 22, we have the new Robert Pattinson vehicle, “Water for Elephants”. I am actually thinking of getting a copy of the book because of the fact that it was written during National Novel Writing Month.

Rating:

Why not?

 

Then on May 6, we have “Thor”, with Kenneth Brannagh directing and Oscar winner Natalie Portman returning to another comic book movie. I’ve always loved Greek mythlogy, Norse mythology, and comic books, so I don’t see the harm in giving this a whirl.

Rating:

Mildly excited

 

On June 3, we have “X-Men: First Class”. We have James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Nicholas Hoult, and Lucas Til. All of whom I have seen in various states of undress. I am excite. Oh, also, I love the X-Men. We finally get to see a third movie in the series.

Rating:

“Green Lantern” comes out on June 17 and… I couldn’t care less. Not a big Green Lantern fan here. Even Ryan Reynolds will not get me into the cinema because THAT COSTUME IS HORRIBLE.

Rating:

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2” and “Winnie the Pooh” are both opening on July 15. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel like one of these movies is going to go down in flames. “Winnie the Pooh” is obviously going to rule the box office.

Rating:

I don’t think that Harry Potter film will make any money at all.

 

“Captain America: The First Avenger” is coming to screens on July 22. Two words: Chris Evans.

Rating:

fapfapfapfapfapfapfap

 

On November 4, we have the “Shrek” spin-off “Puss in Boots”, and let me just take this opportunity to stay that I always thought “Shrek” was WAY overrated. So I will most likely pass on this one.

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It’s the beginning of the end for The Twilight Saga on November 18 when “Breaking Dawn” opens in theaters. I’m seeing it because I’ve already seen the first three and I am nothing if not a completist.

Rating:

I just want to put this out there.

 

I am actually looking forward to David Fincher’s adaptation of Stieg Larson’s “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”. I really love how they’ve styled Rooney Mara. Although I really need to start cracking on the Millennium Trilogy first.

Rating:

Just judging from what’s on the Net, I feel like I will be saying this a lot.

And finally, “The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn” will open on December 23. I am really only looking forward to Jamie Bell in this.

Rating:

JAMIE BELL SHIRTLESS.

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4 thoughts on “Book to movie EXTRAVAGANZA!”

  1. i’m assuming that when you said, “we finally get a third movie in the series”, you were disregarding the existence of X-Men: The Last Stand, yeah? we’re forgetting that ever even happened, yeah?

    HMMM. JAMIE BELL.

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