I like to think that these bitches are throwing some serious sarcastic shade, because the only other option is horrifying: People actually think Becca Fitzpatrick’s “Crescendo” is a good book, and that I am actually living in Bizarro World.
“Crescendo” begins right where “Hush, Hush” left off, with Patch and Nora in each other’s arms and enjoying their first summer together as a couple. For once, Nora’s life seems to be perfect – no one is out to kill her, for instance. However, this moment of peace turns out to be the calm before the storm, as Nora quickly finds herself caught in even more supernatural trouble.
For one thing, Patch’s return to angel status has not made having a relationship with him any easier. Heaven itself is against their relationship, as Patch reveals that archangels are waiting for him to slip up and reveal his relationship with Nora so he can be condemned to an eternity in hell. The strain this puts on their relationship leads them to break up.
Nora has also begun seeing her deceased father at the most unusual of places, making her question if her Nephilim heritage has anything to do with his death. She has also begun to receive notes from a mysterious organization called “The Black Hand”, telling her that “he” killed her father.
With all of these things hanging over their heads, will Patch and Nora ever manage to scrape out of the mess they’re in alive? And perhaps even more importantly, will their relationship ever go back to the way it was before?
Did those last four paragraphs come off as particularly sincere in its recounting of events? Does it read like I am actually personally invested in the story? Because if it does, then I am actually underestimating my skills as a writer.
As you all know from my review of “Hush, Hush“, I wasn’t really a big fan of bad boy Patch and his sleazy “future serial rapist” personality. And this is from someone who has a crippling addiction to guys with tattoos. While it was definitely not unexpected that he ended up with Nora at the end of the first book — this is still YA supernatural romance, after all — that doesn’t mean it wasn’t absolutely unbelievable.
That was why “Crescendo” was so hard for me to stomach right off the bat, as it begins with Patch and Nora being your perfect angel/human couple. How can I even begin to care about your blissful union when the only time you spent together in the previous book consisted of Patch trying to get his slimy paws inside your panties?
And if I wasn’t even invested in the two of you getting together, what makes you think I care if the two of you break up? And yet this break-up becomes the whole focus of this novel, overpowering such trivial matters such as sightings of Nora’s dead father. No biggie.
I guess if this were a slim volume — maybe less than 200 pages — the extended whining and vacillating between “He loves me/No, he doesn’t!” would be bearable. But this goes on 300+ pages into a 400+ page book. Even bears won’t stand for that kind of tomfoolery.
The plot is a lost cause, as it only seems to come to play whenever Fitzpatrick realizes that she needs to move this thing along. Events only seem to happen to justify the illogical actions of Nora in previous chapters, and new characters float in and out of the story just so something will happen and not out of any organic plot development.
The plot does become relevant in the last hundred pages or so, but it all feels like a huge information dump just so all the pieces get tied up together. The way this happens is through the most expected Evil Overlord maneuver ever: The book’s bad guy answers all of Nora’s questions right before he kills her. Or at least attempts to kill her. I guess in that respect the revelations do hit you like a gale force wind.
But the things I talk about here? THOSE ARE JUST THE MOST GLARINGLY BAD PARTS. Scattered all over the book are dozens of examples of how to construct a fantasy world that defies all laws of reason and challenges one’s suspension of disbelief. Those following me on Twitter have already been spammed by it two days running.
I honestly, honestly tried to go into this book with an open mind. I tried to find something to like about it, but other than Patch being much more likeable — mostly because he wasn’t the center of attention — I could not find anything. If anybody can educate me about the merits of this series, I will gladly take lessons.